my momma thinks i’m old!

so i called home just to see how the family was doing, and for the first time in my life, mom actually brought up the subject of “my future”. not my future career-wise, but relationship-wise. she actually started asking me questions like how old i wanted to get married etc. ?!?!?! ridiculous.

alright so here’s sort of how it went:

mom: ling, so maybe you should work in australia after you graduate. you know, since the person you’re seeing is there.

me: but mom, my family is not here, right?

mom: yes, but then you can have your new family.

me: MOM!? HUH!? (utterly shocked because we never ever talk about this)

mom: so how old do you want to get married?

me: HUH?! MOM??? i don’t know, i don’t think about it. go ask ws and vivien, they can tell you how old they want to get married. don’t ask me such things.

mom: ling, you know by your age, i was getting ready to marry daddy.

me: okay mom, good for you. but no! (thinking to myself, mom must be mad saying this to me)

and she started telling me about how i cannot put my career or ambitious dreams so high up on my priority list such that i don’t give consideration to the other aspect of “my future”, which i suppose in this case would be the relationship/marriage/family thing. i know that she’s always told me this years ago ever since i’ve shared my career goals with her, but i didn’t expect to see this day coming. well, i can try to understand her pushing if i was maybe, in my thirties, single alone unmarried and not doing antything about it (yes yes, i get the whole i’m-a-female-and-i’m-not-getting-any-younger) but, now?! at this age?! damn. she did crack me up though, because i thought the whole thing was funny.

i don’t really get it. i mean, i know and can see why many females are worried, when getting closer to their mid-twenties, about marriage and having a family. but i don’t think i ever really had a strong desire for the whole marriage-and-kids thing. granted, i don’t want to be alone and it’s great to have a partner for life. but should we simply find someone for the sake of companionship and settle down by a certain age out of fear/peer or parental pressures? i never agreed with that theory, despite many of my friends telling me that we (females, in general) should because our biological clock is ticking and as we get older, we have less options and men don’t really go for the older ladies. but what is the point of settling down with someone (for whatever personally justified reasons) and having to live with that the rest of your life? i’d rather go with the “if it happens, it happens” reasoning. sure, i’m very aware i’m not getting any younger and by a certain age, i won’t even be bothered looking for companionship anymore. then i don’t think a great solution to that is to go all out searching for mr. suitable-and-available who most likely isn’t mr. right. toss up between anxious-and-desperate, and relaxed-see-what-happens?

both approaches could turn out either way, and we never really know. so why worry!

ah, mothers. she’s the best mom though, i love her to bits.